Yes Buster, I Have a Good Life
Dear Father in Heaven,
Thank you for my great day today. It was totally awesome and good. I so have a totally good life. I am thankful for my daughter. She is my life, my reason for being, my joy, my inspiration, my love. Thank you for allowing me to have an income with which I can support myself and my daughter and not have to scrimp too much. Thank you for the great dream I had today during my nap, that involved both Tina Fey and a riding lawn mower. Thank you for my home to live in and thank you for the mortgage with a decent interest rate. Thank you for watching over me, making sure I am not late on my bills, that I am so damn smart, and that my neck and ankles are a joy to behold. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for my wonderful friends, Mormon and non-Mormon alike, who accept me for who I am. I am grateful for them. Thank you for clouds. Thank you for blessing me with a mother who is an angel on earth, and a father who always provided for his family without fail. I am grateful that my laptop doesn’t have any viruses and that my brother with a built-in-pool always lets us use it. Thank you for my fantastic nieces and nephews who are growing into amazing adults and for this great country where I am allowed to live and vote, which I always do. Thank you for the men and women who are in the armed services, who made the decision to give up their lives if needed, to protect and preserve my liberties and freedoms. I am grateful that I never get ingrown toenails or cold sores, that I have a college degree. Thank you for inventing the DVR because I wondered if I would ever use it and now I find I can’t live without it. Thank you for my new Birkenstocks, which I hope to wear next week if it gets warm enough. Thank you for not letting me catch any flesh eating diseases and for making my teeth so strong that I’ve never had a cap, bridge, or root canal. Thank you for my plumbing, construction, and electrical skills. Thank you for our adopted cat, Piper. Thank you in a big way for inspiring Al Gore to invent the Internet. And thank you for this protein bar of which I am about to partake. Please bless the hands that made it, and bless it that it will give me the nourishment and strength I need.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
PS Thanks for making Fox air a new episode of Family Guy tonight.
Filed under: Life Lessons, Humor, Blogging, Mormon, Am I Bad?
That was one of the most amazingly written things I have read in some time. Pure excellence.
Superb!