The Parable of the Penis Cake
Once upon a time (actually, quite a few years ago), a hot marketing babe (HMB) managed the broadcast marketing for a huge, conservative organization. The company was one of the largest in the state of Zion, and hot marketing babe did a great job.
The marketing department was the liberal, bastard step-child of the organization. Misfits. Outcasts. Odd ones. (Today, you and I would call them “normal.”) The secretary grew pot plants in the front office planters. The assistant manager was a homosexual who was too uptight to acknowledge it and enjoy his life. The head copywriter was a sad spinster who took her father with her on all of her business trips.
HMB was kind to everybody. It was just in her nature. She hated company politics, didn’t understand when bosses would yell at the top of their lungs for the smallest of infractions, and she had many friends. Maybe one too many friends.
The janitors all seemed normal. And HMB included them in her circle of people to be nice to. In her nature, and all. One in particular, Carol, was very appreciative of HMB being nice to her. So nice that on HMB’s birthday, Carol baked her a cake and delivered it to her office.
With a crowd gathered for the unveiling, Carol pulled back a large sheet of foil and presented to HMB … a foot-long penis cake. Yes, a cake in the shape of a penis. And if it was anatomically correct, the man who possessed it would have been 16 feet tall. (But then again, how would I know.) So well intended.
Now I like sugar, and fat, and chocolate. A lot. But that cake was never eaten. Not one person took a piece. However, many photos were taken. Word of the penis cake spread fast, and hot marketing babe got to meet scores of people from other departments whom she had never met before. Eventually, the cake went hard (did I just say that?) and was thrown in the trash … on another floor so that janitor Carol wouldn’t see that nobody ate it.
Looking back on the event with time to reflect, what can we learn from the parable of the penis cake?
- If you really like someone, don’t give them a penis cake for their birthday, because after all, who really eats penis cake?
- Even covered in chocolate and cleverly placed coconut shreds, some people don’t like a penis in any form.
- And if you can’t get the taste of that penis cake out of your mouth, even when you didn’t eat a piece, it is best to go on a date with one of the graphic designers, and sleep with her that very same night.
Filed under: Life Lessons, Humor, Lesbian
I may be a little biased but I much prefer a ladyfinger over a penis cake any day of the week. That being said, I suppose if you must do a penis cake - creme filled is NOT the way to go.
Anyway, Bon Appétit.