The Mormon Church is Gay
After doing some research this week, I have determined that the Mormon church is gay. And I don’t mean “gay” like the youth now use the term to mean “lame,” I mean GAY: queer, light in the loafers, homo, faggot, Graham Norton, fudge-packing gay.
Upon learning of the efforts and dollars the Mormon church is putting into California to overturn the recent court ruling making same-sex marriage legal, I asked myself, “What would Jesus do?” If Jesus formed a club and asked its members to voluntarily give 10% of their income, I don’t think he would use the money to deny 80 year old women the right of visiting one another in the hospital should an illness occur, or the opportunity to file a joint tax return, or to be happy. I think he would use his time and money to heal the sick, feed the hungry, and help the poor.
So what could be the reason the Mormon church is so afraid of homosexuals? (Please note here, like the Mormons say…love the sinner, hate the sin…I love the members, and now hate the church. I have taken its recent actions personally.) And after much pondering, I have decided that the reason the Mormon church is so afraid of homosexuals, is that the Mormon church itself, is gay.
It has always been felt in the gay community that the greatest homophobes are most likely gay. And a study of sexual arousal, published in 1996 by the American Psychological Association showed that “only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli.” Thus, my theory that the Mormon church, homophobic in its attitude and actions, is gay.
It sends young men off for two years to do “missionary” work and they are not to leave one another’s side…ever. This is the missionary position of the Mormon church. How nice the young men can get so well acquainted. And I suspect that when the Mormon church adopted polygamy in the 1800s. it was an over-compensation, showing that not only did they like women, they liked LOTS of women.
So the Mormon church is gay. When will they come out of the closet? And the coup de grâce in my theory? The Mormon temples, the most sacred, not secret, places on earth, the holy of holies, has standing on their highest spire…a man…in a dress…blowing a rod.
Nice post!
Well, when you put it that way, Moroni does look a little fruity.
i think that’s true, that the most homophobic people out there are probably gay themselves, and they lash out because of denial, or to protect themselves, or whatever.
I often find that church policy doesn’t conform to what Jesus probably would do. That’s true of most Christian sects.
I’m truly upset with the church about this. This was their chance… their one chance to finally crawl out of the 17th century. Their one chance to finally say to the world, “We’re a progressive religion. A religion that’s not bigoted or judgmental. We’re forward thinkers, and we embrace people’s rights and freedoms and support our fellow man.”
Instead, what did they do? Exactly what you’d think they’d do. They’re no better than any other church, and no more right.
This makes me very angry, sad and disappointed. BAD MORMONS.
I can’t stand that they wait until the last damned second to receive “revelation.” Black people denied “full membership” until 19-freaking-78 because their skin color was the mark of Cain, comes to mind.
Why can’t they act like Christians and get over their hateful selves?!
Hey, I think you may be on to something here. I never thought of it this way, but it kinda makes sense!
i congratulate you on your proper useage of the circumflex accent.
don’t suppose you’d be interested in the documented case of Brigham Young sanctioning two women to live together…
bless.
Oh lordy, good post lady.
The Church’s stance on homosexuality was one of the key factors in me deciding to leave. To quote the late great Bill Hicks:
“God is love, and that’s all there is. And if that’s all there is there can be no opposite” So, i have a hard time believing that a god who loves you would have any problems with two people - regardless of race, religion, or orientation - loving each other.
And yeah, Moroni does look kinda gay.
also, i never get your word verification right on the first try.
Really disgusts me that they are so willing to alienate such a huge population, especially in Utah. Have they seen the Pride Festival lately? If I heard right, it’s the 2nd biggest in the nation. You go, Mormon Church. To hell that is.
Don’t tell anyone, but the Baptist Church told me Mormon and Catholic totally traded blowjobs in the coatroom at last year’s Christmas party. For reals.
It was supposedly to make Islam show them her boobs, but gay’s gay, I say.