Tan Grandchildren, Gay Fear, Pride
What I learned from my daughter’s sixth grade graduation today.
I will have tan grandchildren. Not only is my daughter’s tween “friend” who comes daily to play basketball black, today I met her friend Mike, who she is emailing with morning, noon, and night. He is Latino. Yea, I’m pretty sure I am going to have beautiful bronze grandkids.
In elementary schools in Utah, there are Mormons everywhere. I don’t know why it stands out it schools. I didn’t swear once.
I can hold back the tears at events like these until the teachers giving speeches start to cry. Then I struggle. My daughter’s teacher loves teaching and her students. I thanked her afterward, but it will never be enough. What a selfless profession.
At work and in the world at large I don’t give a shit who knows I am gay. But none of my daughter’s parents know, and I am so afraid if they find out, my daughter won’t get invited to parties and sleepovers, and her friends won’t be allowed to come to our house. After all, it is Utah. So I am in the closet where her friends come in. And I am okay with that for now.
I am very proud of my daughter, who set goals for herself this year and did a great job. And I am jealous that she now gets to sleep in for two months straight. Then the madness starts again
Filed under: Life Lessons, Lesbian, Mormon, Family, Utah
“At work and in the world at large I don’t give a shit who knows I am gay. But none of my daughter’s parents know.”
you do know that this tends to suggest the first signs of a personality disorder? you’re talking about your self in the third person like you (or she!) is in the other room.
you’re starting to scare me sterky…
@dmx Oh, I think I have long ago crossed that line about personality disorders. I have friends who would be willing to sign documentation for you.
You come across as a really great Mom and appear to have a really great daughter. Congrats to her on doing so well. And congrats to you as well. I can’t even imagine how difficult it might be at times for you being a gay parent, especially in Utah. Hopefully, someday soon it won’t be any different than being a uptight, prudish Mormon parent! But, in the mean time I admire you for protecting your daughter from the ignorance of others closed minds. It should only matter that you are a great Mom, raising a great kid…there are plenty of people out there (even Mormons) that are to self involved or on drugs or whatever that don’t even give a shit about their kids!
BTW, not to be nosy…are you open with your daughter about being gay? If so, I’m just curious how you have handled it and how she feels about it.
Just for the record, you and your daughter would be welcome in my Utah, LDS home at any time. I wouldn’t agree with your lifestyle but I would accept you as a friend or neighbor. Most Mormons I personally know feel the same way I do. It’s the lifestyle we don’t accept, not the person.
Also…I have four beautiful tan granddaughters. Parents just divorced. Marriage is tough enough without throwing in the issues of different cultures…although many work hard at it and thankfully, make it work.
Coming out is difficult. They say that it is a lifetime process. I came out to several members of my family in a few weeks. I assume that my fathers side all know that I’m a lesbian, but my mothers side is religious. I found out that they are hiding it from certain members who would not be so understanding. Coming out is a pain in the butt sometimes.