STERKWORKS | Ex-Mormon Lesbian Rocking Utah

In Utah, July 24 is Pioneer Day. The day when the first party of Mormon pioneers came to Mexico, today known as the Salt Lake Valley. Actually, Brigham Young was sick, and I suspect that when he looked out of his wagon that morning and said “This Is The Right Place,” he was just tired of puking out the side of the covered wagon.

I work for a national company, so we don’t get the day off. My freeway commute was a breeze. But by the time I hit the city, it was packed. Because of construction downtown, the powers that be had the parade route go down the street to the west of my office building and the marathon route to the street east of my building. Thus, I had to weave my way through an array of roadblocks and cops to get to work.

Luckily, I work for an alcoholic company, and what better way to celebrate Pioneer Day than with a healthy breakfast of bagels and fruit. Oh yes, and no breakfast would be complete without some vodka. And I met FiddleyGomme for a beer lunch. Perfect nutrition for the day.

Having never seen the Pioneer Day parade in person before, me and two of my slacker co-workers walked to the corner to catch a bit of the festivities. I got to see everything I wanted…floats, horse poop, and Mormons.

Some lovely missionaries gave me some materials to share with my non-member friends. Yea. Now you understand my need for tattoos or nipple rings. I gave them to one of the friends who went with me, who is Mormon and from Brazil and she was thrilled for the free Mormon swag.

Overall it was a good day. I often debate about those pioneers, my ancestors. Were they lemmings following a cult leader to who knows where, just short of drinking the Kool Aid or waiting for God behind the comet? Or were they courageous souls who were living their convictions and doing what they thought was right, and to hell with everybody else. I hope the latter. I just wish they would have settled someplace where there were not so many Mormons.

Filed under: History, Mormon, Utah