Not a Lipstick Lesbian
I am obsessed with Chap Stick. I need it. I love it. I must have it. I must have it in many places and in great quantity.
I counted this morning. I have four tubes on top of my nightstand, two tubes in my nightstand drawer. One in my pocket (at all times), two in my purse, two in my desk at work. And I live if dread that I will run out. It didn’t used to be this way.
There was a time decades ago that I used tubes of Blistex. But as I always had to have a tube in my pocket, I found that when I retrieved a tube and took off the cap during the summer months, the product consistency was mushy. Too much body heat. So in those early years of obsession, I switched to Chap Stick for the summer months, and Blistex for the winter months. At some point, I realized I liked the Chap Stick better and took the plunge.
Yes, there are Chap Stick rules. It must be in a blue tube. The standard is Chap Stick Moisturizer with SPF15. If that isn’t available, I will settle for Chap Stick Medicated. If those aren’t available, as a last resort, the old fashioned plain Chap Stick in the black tube. Sorry Katy Perry, but if “I Kissed A Girl,” she wouldn’t taste cherry Chap Stick. No flavors. Yuck.
My lips need this obsession in this low humidity state of Utah, but it comes in handy for so many other things. While sitting on the freeway, rub some into my cuticles. Nice. Can’t get marks off of trade show booth graphics? Chap Stick works. Your five year old daughter’s feet go to sleep and she needs immediate relief? Rub on Chap Stick (this was just a total psych out, but it worked and sometimes my now 12 year old still asks for Chap Stick to rub on her feet when they go to sleep).
I have become comfortable knowing that I am, and always will be, a Chap Stick lesbian.
ok, im sat here hoping you don’t rub the same chapstick on kinder’s feet and then your lips…
i’m with you on the chapstick thing though, that and eye drops. without the two i’m a mess. a dry shriveled mess.
@dmx Ha! I can tell my Chap Sticks apart for their purposes. Some have labels pulled off. Some don’t. Etc.
I am so with you on the Chapstick thing! I have them everywhere too (purse, car, desk, nightstand, kitchen, bathroom, etc.). Read my post about it: http://bunnieblog.com/2008/05/10/teenager-for-salecheap/ I get really pissed off if my Chapstick goes missing!
The only other brand I liked was one I used to get at Lake Powell (the only place I have ever found it). I think it was called Bullfrog or something, but it had a very slight lemony smell to it. That is the only one I could stand that had any kind of flavor to it. It was the best if you were going to be out in the sun.
Damn, I need to go back to Lake Powell and get some.
I’m all about Natural Ice, but it’s hard to find in Utah these days, so I ordered two boxes of it, with about 40 tubes total. I think that’s a lifetime supply, but then again I always manage to lose them, so maybe not.
OK…that is too funny. I’m loving the multi-use chapstick. I can’t remember the last time I had a tube of actual Chapstick, I’m a Carmex girl here.
hmmm, i’m thinking maybe i need to reconsider my allegiance to blistex. totally agree with the no flavor thing…