Jesus Christ Returns in 2059
As it is Sunday, I thought my post should have a religious tone for all of my Christian friends. And my post is that Jesus Christ will return to Earth in all His glory in 2059. I’m sorry, but I don’t have the exact day.
My father wrote a 564 page book about the second coming of Jesus Christ. “Wrote” is a very loose term, because 95 percent of the book is quotes from scripture: Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, and a shitload of other books written by Mormon leaders. (I try not to swear too much in my posts, but I could not resist the temptation of saying “shitload” when talking about Mormon books and scripture.)
Kudos to dad for doing something he really wanted to do. In fact, I would almost guarantee he would say he was “told” to write the book. And he did a lot of research, creating a time line of events from the 1900s right up until Jesus Christ returns. Everything is footnoted and endnoted. I’m sure my mom was thrilled because it kept him in his den for three years and out of her hair.
Dad had a website where he was trying to sell his book. I offered to optimize it so he would get a lot of traffic and make some sells, but he kind of just gave up making money off of Jesus and now offers it as a free PDF download. One can still purchase a hard cover copy, however. I was a little disappointed. What a great SEO/SEM challenge…optimize Jesus.
And just so you know, if the prophet of the Mormon church called my dad and told him to hijack an airliner and crash it into the tallest skyscraper in the country, he would. This is not an exaguration .
ISTTITNOJC, Amen.
Very cool. And kudos to your dad for doing something that inspires him and seeing it through.
Question though: Does it bother anyone else that every depiction you see of Jesus is of a skinny white guy with long hair? I’m sorry if it offends the Mormons, but Jesus had dark skin. He wasn’t even Caucasian. There is no description in the bible, but it does say that when the Romans came to arrest him in the garden after his betrayal, they had to ask which of the disciples was Jesus, because they all looked the same. One can gather from that what Jesus would’ve looked like.
Sorry. I’m not dissing on the painting, which is quite good. Just the perception.
@Sov Of course you are correct. I doubt any paintings we see of Jesus really depict an accurate portrait of a Jew living in that area of the world at that time in history.
Huh, I was thinking that that painting looked just like the well-known version where he’s wearing the red coat, but that he’s had a few too many ho-hos in this one. Chubby Jesus. I’m sorry, I don’t like the painting. I’m a bad person.
@Sra I hope you mean ho-hos as in the snack food
ISTTITNOJC Amen - made me giggle out loud!!
I’ll probably regret asking, but I give up…what’s ISTTITNOJC ?
Eric- That stands for “I say these things in the name of jesus christ.” It’s standard mormon prayer or testimony closing.
I liked that touch… reminded me of my younger years. I, too am an ex-mormon lesbian… in Illinois, though.