I’m a bad Lesbian.
I decided today that I am a bad lesbian. I seem to never remember when the “L Word” is on television. My fingernails are not long, but certainly not an appropriate “date worthy” short length. I told a man today that he was gay because he was wearing a candy ring-pop on his pinky finger.
But most of all, I don’t understand sports. Oh, I understand the rules, but I don’t understand the thrill of watching them. Football, basketball, tennis. Don’t get it. Fun to play? Of course. Fun to watch? Why?
The superbowl is Sunday. I will watch this one game of the year for the commercials. And the snacks. And that is it. I will cheer for New England because I love the city of Boston. (Love NY too, but loved Boston even more.)
So, you can see why I am a bad lesbian. And I don’t want to work on it. It is a failing I can happily live with.
As your friend I will email you or tweet you to remind you of the LWord, that is one aspect of being a lesbian that you should not miss out on, especially w/ Bette & Tina’s flame rekindling. The nails, hmmm, well, my thoughts, a little bit of nail can go a long way. Enough said!
Now, as for the lack of interest in watching sports… I think that in light of all your faaaabulous (read that as gayly as possible) other qualities that you neglected to list here, the Board of International Lesbians has voted and decided that you are definitely NOT a bad lesbian but rather a STELLAR Lesbian!! Enjoy the Super Bowl! Oops, I mean enjoy the commercials and Tom Petty at halftime.
Okay, so I just gave a presentation on what a lesbian is for one of my classes (talk about weird). Basically - a lesbian is whatever you make it
So be proud. We’re happy to count you as one of our own.