I Forgot I’m a Lesbo
Tonight I stopped at the liquor store on the way home from work. Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with Utah, this is the one place you can buy real booze. Yes, you can buy beer in grocery stores, but it is watered down 3.2 beer. I needed a few bottles of Merlot because even if I don’t plan on drinking it right away, I feel safer with it in the house.
While in the liquor store, I ran into my niece and her girlfriend. She is the niece of the woman I spent ten years of my life with (probably six years too many). She introduced me to her girlfriend as her aunt, which made me feel great. I was amazed that here they are are in Utah and calling each other “honey” in a crowded liquor store. What nerve! I loved it. I doubt I would ever be that bold.
We made plans with each other and our kids for the weekend, then they left. In the meantime, a woman whom I had never met struck up a conversation with me (having overheard my conversation with my niece and her girlfriend). We had a brief exchange, then each of us paid for our purchases and left. And somewhere in the liquor store parking lot, it dawned on me…she was HITTING on me! OMG. I am so slow. But in my defense, I think I forgot I am a lesbian.
So in order to remind myself that I prefer the fairer sex, I have compiled “My Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Hot Women Who Everybody Knows or Should Know” list. In no particular order, here it is:
Queen Latifah, Alison Moyet, Tina Fey, Alex Borstein, Jennifer Saunders, Dawn French, Lois Griffin, Mariska Hargitay, Helen Mirren, Ashleigh Banfield.
Can you match the names with the faces?
Filed under: Normalcy
