I Am Dexter
Except for killing people, I have turned into Dexter. I walk amongst the Mormons and fit in. I don’t swear. I don’t call bullshit when someone glows over John McCain or Sarah Palin. I laugh at the Mormon jokes with which the CEO starts her meetings.
While others in the office have their headphones on listening to the Sean Hannity show, I am tuned in to Air America and Rachel Maddow. I happily converse with men about their Mormon missions, I listen about the virtues of the BYU Cougars and their great football team. I have not sworn at work since starting this job. I say crap a lot.
I have a monologue running through my brain most of the time. A monologue of the real me. The coffee drinking, wine sipping, swearing, woman loving lesbo, crush on Rachel Maddow, Obama supporter me. I utilize Twitter more and it keeps me sane. It keeps me connected with the real me and those who know the real me, even though they don’t know my real name.
Filed under: gay, Internet, Lesbian, Mormon, Utah, Politics, Television
I like the “I don’t swear” followed immediately by a sentence containing the word “bullshit”.
@Sra Yes, I only swear in my real life and online now. Not at work.
I wish I couldn’t refrain from swearing at work, but I can’t do it. These people drive me crazy!!!!
Is it your ability to blend in? Or is it their inability to see past their own world? Is it your ability to see the broad spectrum of color, while they only see red, green, and blue? You’re a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and that’s a great place to be. You can walk among them, but if the time ever came…
I’m an ex-mormon, and I know how they can be. Once you get past the mormon aspect to them, they’re perfectly normal human beings, some are great, some are civil, some are just nuts. However, while they may teach things of tolerance and freedom, not many practice what they preach, and the gossip machine doesn’t help things at all.
I’m not sure Dexter will ever get a truely happy ending, though. His inner need, while in some ways well-meaning, but others, self serving, won’t ever be accepted by those who matter to him. At least one day you may find a special someone who’ll be worth risking everything you could lose for.