STERKWORKS | Ex-Mormon Lesbian Rocking Utah

The first day of FrontRunner sucks. It gets an “F” rating. So, to shorten that, I’ll just say it fucks.

Figuring I would take a trial run before taking the train to work on Monday, I invited my daughter and two nephews to ride with me from Layton to Salt Lake City and back. Cool we all thought. FrontRunner is free from Saturday through Wednesday. I figured Monday I could try it connecting to Trax to get to work, and another day try it and connect to the bus system to get to work. I had already determined that I won’t save time taking the train, just gas money.

I will take sitting on the freeway in Bella, my lovely Passat Wagon listening to XM radio anytime over today’s experience. To put it in perspective, just let me say that when I rode the Paris subway during rush hour, standing in an overstuffed car like a sardine, with everyone holding overhead bars after having most likely not used deodorant, it was better than today.

We were told the wait to get on the train was 1 1/2 hours. I left the decision to the kids, and they decided to go for it, none of them ever having been on a train. We stood in line for two hours. Daughter with her post surgery infected toe, me with just being fat and old, and my nephews just being boys. At one point, the oldest nephew repeated word for word his entire 6th grade maturation program to me and anyone else in line who was within hearing distance. The rest of the time we played hand games (lemonade?) and Mrs. Mack and others I don’t remember. The only good thing about spending two hours in line was that it was with three wonderful kids.

Of course UTA (Utah Transit Authority) once again underestimated the number of people who would take advantage of a new mode of transportation; especially at no charge. The trains were supposed to show up every 30 minutes. They showed up every 40 or 45. Could UTA have possibly thought ahead and scheduled the trains at their “rush hour” schedule of every 15 minutes? Their way of making up for it was by putting up signs telling people not to get off the train, but to just stay on for a round trip, or they would have to stand in line again for a very long time.

UTA let about 60 people on the train each time it pulled up. When it was finally our turn, we boarded, and there was not one available seat. At the first stop, two of us got to sit. At the Salt Lake stop, we finally all four had seats. And luckily together. I was so proud of my nephews, because they made sure that I got the first available seat, and were very disturbed that my daughter would not take the next available seat that they offered her. They are gentlemen.

Now my ass has plenty of cushion, and I thought that I would feel great sitting down. But the FrontRunner seats seemed to be pieces of plywood covered by tapestry fabric. Oh well. At least my legs could recover. And I met three interesting women and we chatted for a good 20 minutes. I was hoping one of them was a middle aged lesbian like me. (If you read this, just email me from the form I filled out .)

They were amazing and work with the Transit Riders Union, an organization trying to improve public transportation and policy, mostly on the UTA bus side of things. I’ve ridden the bus before, but mostly when my car was out of commission. These women support those whose only mode of transportation is the bus. How cool to be so passionate about a cause. I learned a lot, including the fact that not all wheelchairs are allowed on Trax. Some are “too heavy.” Arghhhhhhhhh. That one pissed me off.

So, the train ride itself turned out to be pretty boring for the kids. But hey, now they can say they rode a train. I got to meet some interesting women and appreciate them even though I don’t ride the bus. I learned more than I ever thought I could about erections. And I now know not to even attempt to take the train to work next week.

Live and learn.

Filed under: Ranting, Life Lessons