China 08/08/08
I have no desire to watch the Olympics this year. I usually catch a bit of them, but nah, not interested. But it is kind of cool that the Olympics are starting in China on 08/08/08.
Eight is considered a lucky number in China because it sounds like the word for “prosper.” How do I know? My company’s VP of Finance is Chinese. I don’t mean of Chinese descent, I mean Chinese. A citizen of China who moved here, works here, and will one day return to China.
I really like our Chinese VP. She cracks me up. She will go on for hours about the virtues of China and the lazy Americans, as she drives her Mercedes SUV into the company parking garage. Excellent. Her daughter is very smart and has been on the Oprah show. Excellent. Very Chinese events.
So in honor of the Chinese Olympics, here are my life events that have any connection to China.
- I own a piece of the Great Wall of China. A printer/vendor friend of mine brought it back from a trip a decade ago. I have no idea where it is. It is little. I am surprised she was not caught, skinned alive, and then thrown in prison.
- Growing up, I always wondered what was in my Mormon father’s copy of “The Little Red Book” by Chairman Mao Zedong. I never read it. I would like to now. Shouldn’t the Mormon church have ex-communicated him for owning a communist book?
- I loved the movie, “The Red Violin.”
- I was offered $25,000 to marry a Chinese man so he could stay in the country with his gay lover. I considered it for a month, just to pay for a sprinkler system for my yard, then said no.
- My daughter and I ate Chinese food yesterday, and as she unwrapped her cookie, I read “made in the USA” on the wrapper. Irony?
- I saw the third version of The Mummy last weekend. One star. Yawn.
- And as my final China memory, we go back to the VP of Finance at my company. About eight years ago, the Dalai Lama came to Salt Lake City. I organized a group of coworkers to take the afternoon off and go hear him speak. When the VP of Finance found out, she was disgusted. She then proceeded to tell me that the Dalai Lama killed children, boiled their skin off, and then made that skin into drums. She was serious.
So here is to China, a successful Olympics, and the country that will soon be our financial overlords.
Filed under: gay, Life Lessons, Miscellany, Place d'employ, Normalcy
It’s funny about the cookie, because everything else in America is made in China.
I think it would take at least $100,000 before I would seriously consider marrying someone so they could be with their gay lover. Make it $500,000 and we’ve got a deal with no further questions.
wow- your VP of Finance is out there. I would definitely not take this as indicative of the Chinese people. I work with one Chinese national, have a license agreement with a Chinese-founded company in LA, and have collaborated with several Chinese-based companies - and I couldn’t even imagine any of these people believing such nonesense. Oh wait, were you joking?
Hold on, gasping for air. OK, laughing under control.
The Communist Mormon part killed me.
@ak NOT joking about VP of finance.