A Totally Venting Feel Like Shit Blog Post
Why can’t I just give myself permission to feel like shit and be okay with that?
I felt like shit today. Still do. And tomorrow I have so much to do and don’t know how I am going to get it all done. Grocery shopping, laundry, daughter needs capris and sandals, I won’t even attempt cleaning. And I feel like shit. And it really bugged me today because I usually feel better on the weekends, assuming it is because I can get more sleep.
My sister caught me from falling in one store today. Thanks sis. I about fell over slightly bending over to water the new ground covers I planted last weekend. And the major dizziness and vertigo have returned after being gone for a few weeks. And did I tell you I feel like shit? And my face is pretty much all numb. (There should be something really useful I can do what that symptom, but I haven’t thought of it yet.)
I’ve been giving myself B12 injections since Tuesday, and I guess I just assumed that I would immediately feel great. And I don’t. So I had my sis ask one of her doctor co-workers how long it takes. Apparently I now have the appropriate amount of B12 in my system, but I won’t start getting relief from the anemia for about a month or so. Shit. This has been going on since last August.
And the dizziness, numb face, neuropathy in my hands and feet, headaches, balance problems. Do they ever go away? My neurologist said she thought we caught everything early enough that the nerve damage would repair itself. I hope she gave me the right diagnosis, and with an MRI and blood tests to back it up, I assume she is correct. She also suggested I use a cane when going into buildings. NO. (Now if I could somehow get my hands on my grandfather’s cane that was made from a petrified horse penis, I might agree.)
I guess I feel guilty. Sarah Bellum is out today walking to bitchslap Autism. A coworker’s husband just found out he has ALS. I have friends recovering from breast cancer. And I feel guilty to be so whiny over my stupid ailment. The only thing that somehow makes me feel better is by realizing that until the early 1900s, people died from this. So that gives me comfort. Yes, in a strange and morbid way.
So thanks for listening. A very good friend made me promise to not make any major life decisions for a month and I agreed. I assume those major life decisions to be quiting my job, having sex with a man, or quiting my job. I can hold out for a month. And if I have to take days off and use up more PTO than I have, so be it.
Filed under: Ranting, Health, Life Lessons
You know what? The phrase “Things could be worse” is almost always true. And I’d hate to see the case where that phrase isn’t true. I’m not saying this to tell you that you shouldn’t complain, but quite the opposite. I’m trying to point out that just because there are other people out there, even people close to you, who are dealing with issues “worse” than yours doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to complain about your own hardships. Feeling down sometimes is part of being human, and it’s ok to feel down even if other people are worse off than you. Just like it’s ok to feel proud of your accomplishments even though there are always going to be people who do things better and grander than you. (Ok, I would like to see the person for whom that statement isn’t true… so I can punch them in the face.)
I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. Would it help if I had sex with said man for you? Because I so totally would. That is how much I love you.
@Sarah it would for sure help if you had sex with that man for me. Don’t know who he is, but you would be stopping me from making a terrible mistake. Find him for me, okay?
You are a wonder. I have admired you from the time I met you. You have every right to bitch, moan, and anything else you wanna do. If you felt up to it I would say throw yourself on the ground and have a tantrum. I will push you down if you want?